Family Constellations

'The Greater soul moves in only one direction, and that is to bring into union that which has been made separate'.

- Bert Hellinger 

A Systemic Approach

Instead of looking at your symptoms and sufferings in isolation, I encourage an awareness of what you are carrying within your family system that wants to belong. We seek resolve and comfort in the work of opening our heart to our family. This is a process that works as slowly as needed, guided by you and given many resources, different perspectives and experiential exercises that feels expansive and brings you much comfort and ease.

Using this approach, you can see where you are entangled in your family system and then given the space and the guidance to be free so you can look at your life and step into it with confidence and stability. 

A systemic approach shows us the root cause of your pain and suffering, exposing unresolved traumas and the fates of our family members that we carry out of loyalty for the system. 

Flight

The three orders of love

Bert Hellinger who bought Family Constellations as a therapy to the world from his 16 years studying the Zulu tribe in South Africa, noted that there were three simple orders of love that created harmony in the system. If these orders get disrupted, it can create confusion, chaos and instability in the system which can manifest as symptoms that we live with each day. 

These three orders of love are the following:

Belonging

Everybody that is conceived as part of the family system belongs. Whether they are born a healthy baby or they die in the womb, they belong. Previous and significant partners of our parents and grandparents belong. Anybody outside of our family system that has influenced the fate of one of our family members belongs too. Traumatic events and emotions also belong. I'm always quietly asking the question of who else belongs? and can we open our heart to them?

Image by Patricia Prudente

Taking my place

Everyone that belongs to the family system must take their appropriate place. Parents have to be parents and children have to be children. This is a hierarchy system, just like when we look at our family tree. Parents come before children. The first child comes before the second child etc. 

We must acknowledge who came before us, for us to be able to take our appropriate place. 

Giving and Taking

The energy of life and love flows through the system, and this energy moves in two directions. Giving and taking. This exchange of energy works differently depending on either equal or unequal relationships.  In equal relationships for example, between partners, siblings, friends, work colleagues the system will thrive when there is a balance of give and take. It supports a sense of contribution and connection and feeds the willingness to give more.  In unequal relationships, between parents and children, parents give, children take. The only way that the children give back to what their parents gave to them is through their contribution to life, love, projects, work, art. 

The Many benefits of Family Constellation work 

  • Releasing the blockages that are holding you back

  • Freeing you, your children and their offspring from generational burdens

  • Increasing your empathy, love and compassion for yourself and others

  • Developing the strength and wisdom to deal with death and loss in life

  • Creating positive shifts in your relationships (parents, partner, children, colleagues, friends, etc.)

  • Transforming your relationship with money, finances and abundance

  • Aligning your mind, body and soul

  • Developing inner peace with your past and who you are today

  • Acquiring clarity in who you are and what you want in life

  • Having the strength and drive to pursue your goals

  • Opening yourself to life and feeling more energy and vitality

  • Transforming your family story into a story of success

  • Clearing the impact of transgenerational trauma in your life

Image by Markus Spiske